Coddiwomple: to travel in a purposeful manner towards a
vague destination. I would say that is an excellent summary of my current
status as an artist and human as I head into three days of research and development
this Monday to Wednesday.
I am working on generating clown material guided by the
wonderful Madeleine O’Reilly in a space at Artlink which I am fortunate enough to
have situated at the end of my street. Our mission: to find my framework for
generating material, to work out how we measure it as good or bad, and to
filter through some starting points and get to the really good stuff. Unknown,
unknown, unknown but ultimately so exciting!
Why am I doing this? Well, largely because I am "stepping out of my own way." I have found myself saying this a lot by means of explanation when asked what I'm up to. I've been hugely inspired by SpyMonkey's Clown Creation School in October this year, and it has acted as the final push into the unknown, my calling, my higher-self, off a cliff... whatever you want to call it. I've taken a leap.
Along my personal journey, this comes after a great many years of self-doubt, low self-opinion and many challenges with my mental health. Which, in a bizarre twist of fate, seems to now be what feeds my funnies. What is there to fear when things have been life-threateningly bad? Take my clothes off, sing about how much I love willies and leap around making funny noises? I'll do it. I've come full circle and there is only lightness and laughter.
The ultimate goal is to create a solo piece of clown theatre, whilst doing all the clown training I can afford in 2019. And then world domination, yes? Whilst I, (approaching my thirtieth birthday,) have grown up enough to know that nothing comes quickly, (I really learned that the hard way,) I have also learned that you may as well champion yourself and tell the universe what you want.
At SpyMonkey's school in October I was chatting with some fellow participants one evening when we all entered into a discussion about where we see ourselves in five years time. I tentatively answered, "with... my own show? Maybe? I don't know." This was met with, "Ha! Five years? We bet you'll do it in one. What's stopping you?" What beautiful humans. I had no come back. They were right. I am stepping out of my own way.
I want to be an excellent clown with my own show? Yes please. Is that a bit vague? Yes it is, but I'll keep travelling towards it in as purposeful a manner as I am able.
No comments:
Post a Comment